Is it time we change our attitude toward divorce? Approaching divorce with a more positive outlook is the theme of the “Start Over Smart” divorce expo that took place in March 31 and April 1 in New York City. The expo is the first of its kind in the US, but similar events have been going on in Canada and European countries for years now.
With half of first marriages ending in divorce and higher divorce rates for subsequent marriages, a large percentage of Americans will experience divorce, either having been divorced themselves or having parents who divorced. With such a big portion of the country experiencing the effects of divorce, divorce should no longer be something that forces spouses to suffer in secrecy.
What are some of the ways that the divorce expo encourages a more positive outlook on what can be a difficult time?
View divorce as a chance to change for the better
Rather than letting divorce ruin your self-esteem and come to define your life, see it as an opportunity to improve. While there is a grieving process and things will not always be easy, you can learn a lot through the divorce – things like how to recognize and manage strong feelings, how to improve your friendships, and how to welcome your new independence.
Stop seeing divorce as a fight
The most difficult divorce cases tend to make news headlines; likewise, the same types of divorces make for good movie plots, but, ideally, divorces should not be a courtroom fight, and we should stop viewing them as a zero sum game where somebody has to lose in order for someone else to win. Research has demonstrated how harmful the most difficult divorces are on a couple’s children. The goal should be to restructure your family without harming everyone in the process.
Have you recently divorced? What advice would you like to share with others undergoing a divorce about coping with it and moving forward in a positive manner?
John K. Grubb & Associates, P.C. – Houston divorce attorneys