Portrait of John K Grubb

Texas Divorce and Prenuptial Agreement

4550 Post Oak Place, Suite 201 • Houston, Texas 77027-3139

Phone: 713-877-8800 • Fax: 713-877-1229

Preparing for 5 Overlooked Difficulties After Divorce

After thinking that marriage was forever, the words “we’ve grown apart and I want a divorce” can be quite a shock. You may have friends in Houston who may have gone through a divorce, so you are aware of all the problems you will face working out a divorce settlement. You basically know what to do to keep your thoughts clear at a stressful time, and are certain of a life line.

After all, you were there for some of your friends during their time of unhappiness.

You might want to think again. While going through the divorce process prior to your final decree may be stressful, sometimes post decree is painful too. Many people do not realize how much their lives can change after their divorce is final.

It is easier to start rebuilding your life if you know some of the things that can, and most likely will, happen after the ink has dried on your decree. You should be prepared to deal with post-divorce issues so that you can tackle them as soon as they come up. Knowing what to expect will help you keep an even keel as you rebuild your life.

  1. Divorce issues may not end after the final decree. While you can go to Vegas or Mexico and get married in less than an hour, your divorce starts only after you have received your final divorce decree and may continue long after the ink dries. There may be future custody and debt settlement issues to name two of the most common ones.
  2. Houston Family Courts can often seem cold. The Court doesn’t care who was at fault, if your ex-spouse can’t pay child support because he/she was downsized, or your ex has the kids and doesn’t know what to do when they are sick. If you take the issue back to court, be prepared that only the facts of the matter will be considered, not your feelings, and the Court may not see it your way.
  3. Money is always an issue at first. Although you think that the divorce settlement was fair, many times you are not prepared on living on less than when you were married. Having to pay everything by yourself can be quite a shock, especially if you have custody of the children. And in today’s economic climate, you can never be sure if child support will be paid.
  4. If you have children, your relationship with your spouse will carry on long past your divorce decree. If you can’t get past the hurt and anger of your divorce, you will help set up lose-lose situations for everyone involved. Realize that there will be disagreements on just about every aspect of raising the kids, from schooling, to clothing, to doctor bills, to your dating habits. Don’t forget that your children will probably have questions or be confused, and your ex most likely will hear about things you would rather keep personal.
  5. Family and friends may not hang around. People are people. Friends and family may take sides during and after your divorce. Often you may feel as if you have a contagious disease when people you were close to before your divorce don’t answer your calls. Be aware that as a newly single person, your married friends might think that you don’t have anything in common any more or may view you as a threat to their own marriages.

The key is being certain you will survive the heartache. Although the hurt and disappointment will not go away on command, remember that you weren’t the only one affected by your divorce. As the saying goes, “you are the master of your destiny and the architect of your future”. It’s a good time to focus on yourself. Life goes on, and it’s not so bad when you’re the one in control.

John K. Grubb & Associates, P.C.
Houston Divorce Attorneys

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