Portrait of John K Grubb

Texas Divorce and Prenuptial Agreement

4550 Post Oak Place, Suite 201 • Houston, Texas 77027-3139

Phone: 713-877-8800 • Fax: 713-877-1229

10 ways to cure divorce holiday blues

 

Thanksgiving will be here in a few days, ushering in the month-long holiday season. It’s evident that this year many Houstonians are preparing early. Wreaths welcoming people in. Lights making a muted début in shrubs. For the newly divorced, or for people in the process of getting one, the appearance of a joyous holiday can be especially painful.

Holidays are best spent with family and close friends. Laughing, singing, and spreading cheer. For people recently divorced, this time of year can cause a great deal of stress and anguish. Maybe friends and/or family don’t come around much, or the children won’t be spending the evening before, much less the blessed day with you. Or you might worry that your children will be disappointed with fewer gifts than years past.

You often think of holidays gone by. The laughter, the friends and family gatherings, the delighted squeals of your children. It’s different this year. You might not care to socialize, decorate, or shop. You worry that your children will be affected from broken traditions.

It’s important to remember, although it may not feel like it now, next year and all subsequent years will be better. In the meantime, you can lift your holiday spirits by

 

  1. Socializing. There isn’t a better way to chase away your divorce holiday blues by being around other people.
  2. Not drinking. Alcohol acts as a depressant and can intensify your feelings of loneliness.
  3. Not bothering, or doing limited decorating this year. If you do decide to decorate your home, invite some friends over to go through all the holiday decorations, get rid of the painful ones, and buy new ones. If you don’t feel up to decking the halls, enjoy the adornments of friends and neighbors.
  4. Take care of yourself. Treat yourself to a spa day. Eating healthy and exercise are natural stress relievers.
  5. Get lots of light. Who doesn’t enjoy the sunshine? Sunlight is also a good source of vitamin D.
  6. Invite a friend over to have dinner, cook, or go to a movie. A little camaraderie goes a long way to help banish holiday blues.
  7. Don’t feel guilty to set boundaries. Make sure family and friends know what you are up to handling this year, and what you are not. A divorce is stressful enough without adding others’ demands.
  8. Volunteer in the soup kitchen, the Salvation Army, or a shelter. Houston has many volunteer opportunities. Not only are you helping others, you feel better.
  9. If you have children, be sure to act in their best interest. The children are probably upset that both Mommy and Daddy aren’t there during the holidays. Let the kids know that it’s OK they spend time with your ex.
  10. Start new traditions with your children, asking them for ideas and getting them involved.

 

And finally, stop comparing your current life as a person with your former married life. Focus on the things that you can control. Having command of the holidays goes a long way to banishing any melancholy feelings you have during the holidays.

It’s normal to feel depression following a divorce, so have the phone number of your spiritual adviser handy. Focus on the future and be sure to remind yourself that next year’s holidays will be brighter.

 

John K. Grubb & Associates, P.C.,
Houston Divorce Attorneys

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