Portrait of John K Grubb

Texas Divorce and Prenuptial Agreement

4550 Post Oak Place, Suite 201 • Houston, Texas 77027-3139

Phone: 713-877-8800 • Fax: 713-877-1229

Houston Divorce Lawyer Encourages Positive Communication

Whether you are just beginning the divorce process, are well through it, or are just starting to contemplate the possibility of divorce, there are a few practices that will serve you well no matter what stage of the process you are in. Good communication, while it may not have been in effect all throughout your marriage, is vital when going through a divorce. Tone and frequency of your conversation with others, as well as your listening habits all play a role in effective communication. Follow these simple habits from your Houston divorce lawyer, and you will find yourself less stressed as you proceed through your divorce case.

Embracing a Positive Mindset and Avoiding Blame

As stressful and exhausting as your life may be right now, be sure to frequently remind yourself why you are going through this. So that you and your children if you have any, can go on to a better life, free of marital tension. Try and keep this positive outlook in mind before going into a situation that could potentially turn negative, such as a meeting with your soon to be ex-spouse. Your family lawyer will advise you to rehearse these happier thoughts in your head, and soon you will positively affect the environment around you. This inward monologue with yourself creates a more positive outward communication with all those you meet.

This positive attitude also includes avoiding placing blame on your former partner. As hard as it may be to set a neutral tone for conversations, saying things like “it’s your fault that the kids have to deal with this,” “this whole scenario is because of you,” etc., will only serve to make your soon to be ex-spouse angry, thereby shutting down all communication. In that light, try to avoid talking about the past. Focus on the present, and the future. Do not try to dictate what you think your spouse’s next move should be, or exactly what type of settlement they should offer. Any suggestion you make at this point is likely to be ignored, and will only serve to make your ex-partner irritated and angry.

Listening Creates Less Stress

While the idea of trying to “understand” your former partner may seem intolerable right now, think of it as a benefit to yourself in the end. By listening to their statements or point of view without cutting them off with a rude comment or an outburst, you will come closer to a state of calm. Completely listening and absorbing another’s point of view, even if it is your ex-partner, will allow for greater understanding, and will expedite the divorce process, says your Houston divorce lawyer.

When in conversation with your ex-partner, it is helpful to make a list of “shared values.” These values should include hopes for your children’s future, such as high school graduation, college enrollment, etc. Having a working list of the ideas and hopes that you still share will help to keep the conversation in a positive light, and put the focus on what is important.

Carry it over to Family and Friends

Venting to family and friends about your divorce may be a commonality in your life at this point. On the other hand, you might keep most things to yourself. The healthy thing to do is to find some common ground. When talking to close friends or family members, it is natural to discuss the events of the divorce, but try to keep your mindset positive while doing so. Focus on the good to come out of it. Your family will sense your new attitude and do everything that they can to support it.

For advice and tips on divorce, or any other aspect of family law, visit www.houstondivorce.info. To schedule a consultation with premier Houston divorce lawyer John K. Grubb, call 713-877-8800.

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