Portrait of John K Grubb

Texas Divorce and Prenuptial Agreement

4550 Post Oak Place, Suite 201 • Houston, Texas 77027-3139

Phone: 713-877-8800 • Fax: 713-877-1229

Planning Your Houston Divorce Discussion with the Children

There is no perfect time to tell children that their parents will be divorcing. Every child is different, and can have different emotional reactions to the news. There is however, a best practice to put into effect when you tell them. Your Houston divorce lawyer explains.

Let Them Hear it from You

There is possibly nothing worse than hearing big news from a secondhand source. This especially applies in a divorce scenario. If your children hear that you and your spouse are divorcing from relatives, or friends at school, it might do irreparable damage. Even though the animosity between you and your spouse might be at its peak during this time, it is very important that the children hear the news from the both of you, in a calm and loving environment, if possible. A family lawyer might advise that if this scenario is not possible, to seek advice from or include a mediator like the family religious advisor or a therapist. Above all else, when breaking the news to the children, do not show irritation towards your spouse through words, gestures, or facial expressions. In addition, it is recommended that you both agree on a script of sorts prior to the discussion, so that you both are on the same track. This also avoids any stray random comments that may lead to anger or sadness.

Make sure to tell your children throughout the whole conversation that you both still love them, and that you are still a family. The main difference now is now they will have two homes (not houses) instead of one. This helps to reinforce a sense of security with the children.

Allow the Children’s Input

While the immediate aftermath of telling your children of your plans to divorce may include some emotional outbursts, it will likely include some questions as well. Depending on the ages and maturity levels of your children, these questions may range from “where will I live now?” to “can’t you just work it out?” Your children may have been exposed to divorce in their lives through the parents of friends or relatives, but they will experience a whole new range of emotions when confronted with it from their parents. Your Houston family lawyer will advise that your children will require constant reassurance at this time. Make sure to impress on your children often that the divorce is not their fault, and they are in no way to blame.

The likelihood is that your children will ask many questions after you break the news to them, but they might keep many things bottled up. It depends on the personalities. Becoming uncommunicative is a usual occurrence in children whose parents are going through a divorce. The best thing that a parent can do is to closely monitor their children’s moods, and reach out to talk with them frequently.

Houston divorce lawyer John K. Grubb is a premier family attorney, and can help with any legal situation. To schedule a consultation today, call 713-877-8800.

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